Blind Girl: A Day in the Life

Episode Two

It is a known fact that legally blind people go through double the amount of fly spray than fully sighted people do*. Why? You may ask. Well, it’s because we can’t see the bugs we’re spraying so it’s pretty much a ‘let’s just spray the entire room, hope we get the bug and pray we don’t choke to death or poison the dog’ sort of situation.

I had one of these situations the other day. A blowfly buzzed out of nowhere into my bedroom while I was working. How did I know it was a blowfly if I couldn’t see it? Well it was either that or some other insect riding a flying, insect-size motorbike (presumably powered by demon energy). It was so loud I swear it was carrying a chainsaw.

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So, naturally, I retrieved my trusty can of Mortein and doused my entire bedroom. I could tell my mission had been successful because the next sounds I heard was the blowfly smashing into the walls and ceiling, hard enough to shake loose some plaster! But then a horrifying thought hit me—what if it reached its ultimate demise somewhere over my bed? The last thing I wanted was my victim’s corpse disappearing in my sheets only for me to find it just before I went to sleep! Or worse, for the dog to eat it and spend the entire night throwing up.

So I did what any normal person would do—when the blowfly made its last, desperate escape out of my bedroom I slammed the door behind it, leaving it to live out its final few seconds somewhere else in my apartment. All I could do was pray its body didn’t land somewhere on the stove or in the fruit bowl, and that, hopefully, my roommate took care of the evidence when she vacuumed the next day.

*Don’t ask for my source on this fact. I may possibly have made it up.

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